Feeling Confused Right Now? You’re Not Alone

Mercury went into retrograde on January 30th, which will last through February 20th. Since we are currently in Aquarius, an air sign, the retrograde influence is causing some doubts, lies, and misunderstandings to go on. Lots of them, in fact – if you’re up to date on Twitter. 

Personally, I’ve been experiencing some doubts – as you may have read in my last post – about where I am supposed to be right now. Am I on the right path? 

I started a job at a manufacturing facility in the middle of December, right before Solstice. My position started off as janitorial, and now I am working part-time in the furnace room loading parts which will ultimately end up in cars, or power tools, or something. Idk.

I mean, I am the Queen of Wands, so it’s appropriate that I would end up working with fire. Look, there is even a shadow cat in the rust on the furnace!

When I took the job, I was having a crisis of faith – as I normally do during a pandemic, while having a bipolar episode, facing the one-year anniversary of three tragic deaths to a fire, and listening to the president spout a constant barrage of lies to the public about election fraud. 

In 2019, I worked in logistics as a freight broker account manager. If you don’t know what that is, be thankful. It involves a lot of cold-calling. I was fired from that position on December 19, 2019. The next day, on December 20th, I received a call from my daughter’s aunt in Indiana. 

My daughter’s grandparents and her-half sister had passed away in that fire the same day I was fired from my job. The morning I was let go, “Fire on the Mountain” by Grateful Dead had been on the radio at work. When I heard the song, I knew some bad stuff was about to go down – but I had no idea what I was in for, truly. 

After the funerals, I was not ready to return to work. Fortunately, since I had been let go from my job in logistics, I was able to collect unemployment while I was in the beginning stages of mourning.

What I really wanted was to begin my Tarot practice professionally. I was a psychic’s assistant at a women’s show in Lansing, MI in February. I signed up to volunteer for the Enlightened Soul Center’s Psychic Fair in March, so I could network with other professionals. Then the pandemic hit, and all bets were off. 

I went through multiple jobs in 2020: Waitress, marketing HR person, resale shop manager, coffee shop barista, but none of them worked for me. My mental illness is not forgiving when it comes to working a full-time position. I often have difficulties keeping up with a regular 9-5 job; I need breaks in the routine. 

Then, I became a janitor and I was finally happy. Go figure. (I am INFJ so working independently suits me best.) However, my ego wonders, could I be doing more to contribute to the world? Is this all I am meant to be? That is the Seven of Cups talking.

If you pull the Seven of Cups , you may be feeling like this:
  • Doubts of existentialism: “Who am I? Why am I here? Am I making the right decisions? Where should I go next?”
  • Doubts of extrinsic values: “Can I trust this person? Who is right and wrong when it comes to moral superiority? Does this place/person/thing support what I believe in?”

The Seven of Cups as advice would be telling me to stay put. Do not act right now, because there are too many unknowns and variables. Now is not the time for movement. 

As with all cards, it depends on where they are in your spread. Is it in the past? Then likely you were facing an emotional choice (cups) but had a lot of balls in the air, not knowing which way you should go. Now that the clouds of confusion have cleared, you are ready to take the next steps. Perhaps you were trying to process information that had been given to you that did not make sense, but now you understand it. 

If you pull the card singularly, it is likely you need more time. Let the information come to you – do not seek it out because there is a good chance you will be misled.

7 of Cups – Rider-Waite (Smith) Tarot Deck

I, too, have been sensing some Seven of Cups confusion; we are in Aquarius after all. See all the cups floating through the air? Due to Mercury (the planet which rules the mind) being in retrograde, there are opaque clouds interfering with our clear air sign. Doubting myself. Doubting the future. Doubting whether we can recover as a nation. 

And it is doubt which brings me to concerns about the beginning of the impeachment trial on Monday. There is a lot of uncertainty about what is going to happen with this trial. 45 handily outmaneuvered the charges the first time last January, and the Senate GOP seems keen to continue the Big Lie for the sake of keeping their political positions. However, I think it may be more severe than that. I believe these Senators may also fear for their lives and becoming targets of fanatics. 

The first impeachment was announced on December 18, 2019. The date sounds familiar right? It was the day before the house fire in Indiana. They died that night celebrating the first impeachment announcement; they had hopes for this country that day, hopes that we would get out of this without too much incident. I wish it had not gone the way it has, but alas, here we are. 

Interestingly, the Moon will be entering Capricorn again on Monday, February 8th, just as it was when the Democrats were demanding Mike Pence to invoke the 25th amendment or they would proceed with impeachment in January. There will be a new moon on Friday, along with the Crown of Stars aligning (see: Susan Miller at astrologyzone.com), which I think will be when we start to see some progress in the trial. 

Until then, there is sure to be a lot of back-and-forth, with the Seven of Cups reigning over Justice. Let’s hope we will see The Star, our better yet, the Sun, in our near future, to shine some light on this mess. 

For now, until I am called elsewhere, I am happy to continue on my little path as a janitor because it is good exercise, I can do it, and most importantly, it is teaching me humility.  

“Look around you, there’s angels amongst us.” – Atmosphere, Angelface

Much love, XO – Heather

3 responses to “Feeling Confused Right Now? You’re Not Alone”

  1. […] realize I was falling into it again – but maybe that’s why I was writing about it. The shadow cat on the furnace was my eye-opener, I think. It was a signal that my dark side was about to emerge. The impatient, […]


  2. […] I saw the cat again on a furnace about a month ago at work, so I am hoping it is simply a warning and not an omen. For now, I will “turn my face to the sun and let the shadows fall behind me. ” (Maori proverb). […]


  3. […] – which is like 50% of the time – because nothing seems real or concrete. It’s all 7 of Cups-ish. The real kicker is that sometimes I don’t even know if I am sick, or if I am being lazy. […]


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