Strength and Intuition

“The compass always points to terrapin.”

Terrapin Station by Robert Hunter and Jerry Garcia

It finally happened. I got a phone call for a tarot reading last weekend. Unfortunately, the call was at 8:30 am on a Sunday from a person who was experiencing a 9 of Swords moment and could not be soothed by my counseling. 

Right at the moment he called, I had just drawn a card from my Black Moon Astrology deck. It was the Fire Element card. First warning.

I spent three hours on the phone, by text and phone call with this man. His concern was his girlfriend: Was she cheating on him? My cards said no. However, she was definitely thinking of getting out of the relationship; I knew that much. The only man in the entire celtic cross spread was the Hierophant, and he isn’t usually the cheating type. Knight of Cups, well that would have been a different story. 

After a lot of advice and several phone calls that morning, I decided it was time to cut ties. He asked for my photo; I said nope. You can see me on my website, I told him. He had an odd vibe and the Devil had made his way into a few of the spreads that morning. It was clear to me that I needed to take this as an immediate threat. If I meet this man, it could be dangerous. 

By not meeting with him, I was out $45 (I told him it was really more like $90 after all the time we spent on the phone that morning but I’d cut him a break). I knew this was more important than money. It was about my safety. 

Fortunately for me, I recently met another man who is my proverbial rock. He is the type of man I can go to when I need his help. He loves me; I love him too. It happened rapidly. We only just met in January. He is more like the Hierophant and less like the Emperor.

He told me not to meet with the jealous boyfriend. I am glad he was there for me to turn to last week. I could not do this alone. 

Since I wrote about the Nine of Swords on Feb. 18th, I went through my own little episode. I didn’t realize I was falling into it again – but maybe that’s why I was writing about it. The shadow cat on the furnace was my eye-opener, I think. It was a signal that my dark side was about to emerge. The impatient, angry, and doubtful side. The shadow side.

This time was different, however, because I had Will to turn to. I started to feel that old anger rising up in me at work; feeling sick over needing to tell the boss I could not handle loading the furnaces anymore – I just wanted to be a janitor again! He helped me to figure out how to deal with it. He did this by listening to me and not passing judgment. 

When I did the three-card spread for the jealous boyfriend, he wanted me to read it about his girlfriend, not indicating anything to me about cheating in the beginning. The present placement was Judgment. I told him that she is feeling judged right now. In hindsight, the juxtaposition of his behavior compared to Will’s lack of judgment of me is incredibly powerful. 

Jealous Boyfriend’s Past-Present-Future spread 2.21.21

For our first date, I spent Valentine’s Day with Will, and gave him the (Rider-Waite) Strength card as his valentine. He is a Leo, so I knew it was the right one. It is in a frame on his nightstand. Another gift I gave him is a painting now hanging above his bed. 

This painting was important to me; I included it in The Devil post on January 22nd. It was my Donald Trump/The Tower/Three of Swords/Terrapin Station story. Little did I know that it would also come true. The lion in the fire found me only a few weeks later. He is my King of Wands. 

Yes, he is Strength, but he is the King of Wands in man form. I say this because he works with a fire wand (torch) every day to braze silver onto auto parts. He has a fire energy, but with age, he has tempered his anger – and that is something I desperately need to learn. 

Painting him into my life is just one way I have predicted, or manifested a new reality into my world through art. I don’t know how I do it. It’s just intuition.

This has happened for nearly ten years now: painting or drawing something, only to have it come true within months, or sometimes even days, of creating the piece.

Seven Ravens of the Tower of London – Esoteric Dreamers, Heather Defresne

I drew a picture of the Tower of London in August 2020 with one of the ravens flying away, leaving the other ravens behind. In January 2021, one of the ravens was reported to have escaped the Tower. The number of ravens left in my drawing was only off by one; I had miscalculated how many were living in the Tower when I drew it. But it still happened. She left, just like I had predicted

Side note: Bird Song by Grateful Dead “happens to be” playing as I edit this post. Synchroncity is hilarious sometimes.

“All I know she sang a little while
And then flew on”

It can sometimes be frightening to know my pictures will likely come true, since I don’t always paint light-hearted concepts. I am more aware of this energy now, so I have reduced the amount of paintings and drawings I create. 

It is not that I believe that by avoiding painting that I will avoid disasters. It is more that I don’t like having predictions of tragedy on my conscience. Like Dr. Manhattan said in Watchmen, he cannot change what is going to happen just because he can see it. If I paint something awful out of intuition and a sudden jolt of inspiration, now I dread how it will come true. I don’t always know the meanings of the pictures until they happen. 

I gave the Terrapin Station painting to Will because it was meant for him. That painting has such a strong energy, it needed to be released to a new place. It was my intuition that guided me to add the lion to the painting. He was not originally going to be in there.

Ethereal Visions deck

I’m so grateful he showed himself to me only a few weeks after I painted him; right on time, just when I needed Strength the most.  Thanks, Universe!! I feel blessed.



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