Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone.“You’ll Never Walk Alone” Rodgers and Hammerstein (1945)
It happened again – my painting came true. I never cease to be amazed when this happens because although I believe in my psychic ability, it’s still incredible! How is the human brain capable of predicting future occurrences? Synchronicities aside: I mean, real life predictions. If you’ve read Stephen King’s Duma Key, you know what I’m talking about.
Having dreams which prophesied the future is how I started to realize my ability to tap into the psychic realm. These first arose over a decade ago, back when I was in Alaska. The first one I ever had was in 2008, but would not come true for nearly four years. When I realized that I had predicted this very event, I knew something special had happened. I was starting to see.
How It Started
I began painting as a therapeutic outlet for my bipolar disorder shortly after I became homeless in 2014, while living in a shelter in Indiana. While there, I painted a self-portrait which has yet to come to fruition – but I believe this painting is an image of my eventual death, which explains why it has yet to be realized.
My next painting was of a man who had a guitar strapped to his back, hitchhiking towards the desert. He was blue and his hair was purple. He was obviously alien to the landscape. I met him three years later – an undocumented, guitar-playing Belgian man – and eventually married him. He left me and went West only six months after our wedding day in March 2019. He grabbed his guitar and bailed on our home only six weeks after we married. He wasn’t meant to stay – the painting had told me so. Despite, or maybe because of, my grief caused by yet another abandonment issue, I started painting again after he left me. I never did any art while we were together – I wonder if that is symbolic of something?
Two of the paintings I created shortly after had mass death themes, which ultimately predicted the large numbers of deaths in the world due to Covid-19 only a matter of months later. There were other (private to my family) deaths as well, which caused me a heck of a lot of emotional distress when I found several truths to them in my paintings.
How It’s Going
It’s only been a few months since I was able to finally accept that I did not manifest those deaths by painting them. Nor was I responsible for not warning the people who had died because I did not know A) who it was going to be or B) that it was actually going to come true!
What I discovered instead is that I am not only capable of painting my own reality through visualization. I am also capable of seeing what is going to happen if I allow Spirit to intervene through my works. This is not always easy to do because I have to be willing to let go of control.
There are many more stories I can tell about my paintings that have come true, but the one that surfaced yesterday was “The Sun.” Last summer, I painted The Sun in support of the George Floyd protests and the BLM movement. It had started as simply the Tarot card, but after his death, I embellished it with some anti-racist sentiment, including a crossed-out Nazi symbol. My Sun has the Eye of Ra on his face with the symbol of Hathor on the forehead, to make it specific to my spirit guide energy. After all, Hathor was the first spirit guide to make her presence known to me. Eye of Ra and Hathor are both protective.
My intention behind adding this imagery was to tap into all of the strength of light (The Sun) to help towards the highest good. To me, that was fighting back against racism and social injustice. Because I don’t always do well in large groups, protesting was not in my playbook. I was fighting back in my own way, by giving my energy to this painting and demonstrating my devotion to the cause outside of my home. That was my contribution.
I am grateful, however, because I was recently able to make a more practical contribution to the cause. Yesterday I was called to assist someone in need. His car had broken down in Detroit and he needed a tow truck to get him home. I have AAA, so I heeded the call and went to the city.
To be clear, this person didn’t ask for my help, specifically. He was a stranger I knew via social media; a man who runs an anti-racist, non-profit organization which directly benefits local homeless people, called Woke Ltd. After I sent my kid to school in the morning, I saw that he had posted something online about being stranded in Detroit. I offered to come. Joe helps so many people – it was his turn to be helped.
While we were waiting for the tow truck, I looked at the back of his truck – which has an enormous Eye of Horus on the back. I began telling him about my painting and how I am drawn to Egyptian symbolism as well. I mentioned the crossed-out Nazi symbol and said I believed the painting is meant for him; he told me he has that very same symbol tattooed on his arm. And the Sun tattooed on his back. And he is a Leo, which corresponds with the Sun in the Zodiac. The painting was him. I just didn’t know it until we met.
Halfway through our wait, we began talking about hope. I told him I’ve been feeling directionless since I quit my job (and before.) I told him that I sometimes get doubtful about trying anymore – what does it matter? – but then I’ll see one of his posts and it gives me a little spark of hope. He replied and said that I was giving him a spark of hope by being there with him to help in his time of need. Just then we both looked up and saw a truck with the words, “Hope for Humanity” printed on the side. We laughed and noted the synchronicity of it all. That moment meant something important. It means that hope is with us if we continue to allow ourselves to believe in it.
After the vehicle was delivered to its destination, we finished our conversation. Joe said he wants to help me…is there something he can do to make me happy? I don’t know how he can. I told him I am done chasing the sun, i.e. happiness. “To me,” I said, “happiness is fleeting. I want to seek peace. This is why I want to give you the painting.” Equanimity is the key. He understood.
I told him I had to go home and write in order to discover what it is I really want. Here’s the funny thing. The more I wrote yesterday, the more I realized that the answer is right in front of me.
I want to write. More than performing Tarot for money, or being out in The World, I want to write. My mental health issues prevent me from doing a lot of things, but rarely do they stop me from writing.
Besides, I’ve found that when I perform Tarot as a transaction, it doesn’t feel right. I don’t know how to explain it, but I am starting to believe that perhaps I have been going about this all wrong. And that is okay. Because it is through our failures that we learn and become better people. I am still learning every single day, even when I don’t want to.
Now, how to become a professional writer…I know, I will paint myself as one. That’s precisely how my works manifest – through visualization and intent.
“As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.” -Rumi (P.S. This one was a spirit message.)
*Header photo taken at the Out of the Darkness walk on October 16, 2021 in Ferndale, Michigan