“In tomorrow I see no promise, and yesterday was like today” – Like Today, Atmosphere
As this year draws to a close, my biggest reminder of what is important is truly “the little things.” It is these little things which add up to big things over time, like money in the bank (or not.) Our everyday efforts, the ones that we do habitually are what make who make us who we are. I see this more now than I ever have in the past.
When you listen to the same song every day because you like it, that song eventually becomes a part of who you are as a human being. This is true with eating breakfast, or simply skipping it and drinking coffee, or worse yet, an energy drink; whichever you choose, if you do it long enough, it is a part of you and your life. Without it, you might feel confused or distraught over something that is missing. Habits of creature, we are.
The Sixth House in the zodiac represents routine and the need for it. In my previous post, I wrote of the Hermit and his lonely existence. If you were to do a little homework, you might find that Hermit associates with Virgo, which rules the sixth house. Sensing a theme here.
My routine this year has changed so many times, I honestly cannot keep track of it all; there’s been too many ups and downs and dips and skips. Nothing has remained steady, which can be difficult to deal with. Not knowing which day I will be able to buy groceries, or if I am going to be working, or if I am going to have an(other) episode. Not that those are unpredictable – I usually know when one is coming on, but I can’t always put a roadblock up to keep it from hitting me.
I started the year off as a janitor in a brazing plant. Over the summer, I tried my hand at professional tarot readings, but discovered rather quickly that path was not meant for me. By November, I was hired to work in a law firm – right after coming out of waiting tables at a crappy restaurant. I don’t want to make assumptions, but I believe it’s safe to say that COVID work shortages may have assisted in my ability to retain the position.
It took me over ten years of work and effort to finally “make it” into a firm. Sure, I may have been able to get in without a legal degree. I probably didn’t need to do a lot of things I did in order to get the position. Those positions I had in the past weren’t required for me to do this job. But perhaps I’m wrong.
Maybe I am only successful at it now after all the experience I received while working in logistics, moving, funerals/cemetery, and tarot reading. By learning how to talk to people in a way that makes them feel like you care and understand what they are experiencing (to the best one can) you can be better at customer service. And best of all, you can become a better human.
My job is to interview prospective clients and discover what is wrong with them, and how it relates to their time in the military. We work with veterans who are trying to win a disability claim against the VA. Some of these vets have been through the most horrifying experiences a person could imagine and they suffer from it for life. It can be difficult to work with mentally ill people sometimes, especially PTSD claims because they get stressed very easily. Same with traumatic brain injuries. I might not be a doctor – in fact, I’m fairly certain I’m not – but I know that the brain-damaged (physically or mentally) folks out there struggle probably more than most others. My brother pictured below is fortunately quite healthy and I am grateful for that.
I’ve been doing my “routine” at the firm now for almost two months. It has been difficult for me to develop a real schedule yet, what with the holidays and other challenges. Plus, I’m still trying to get a good rhythm that works with my pets needs and kid’s schedule. It has required a lot of sacrifices on my part.
What has maintained steady since I started there is my coffee drinking routine – because it is a part of me. I still continue to do Tarot regularly and I am getting better about my pets’ routine. As someone who also lives with mental illness, it can be difficult to make everything all work together at times.
Yet, it’s important that I make myself do these things because having a real career is important to me. I’ve waited so long for this opportunity to come into my life that I am not willing to give it up for damn near anything. Most importantly of all, the work means something. I finally get to help people, just as I have wanted to do for so very long.
Because there is a New Year around the corner, many people will start thinking of the resolutions they want to make to see changes in their lives. If you have a resolution already, I salute you. The best I have come up with is my desire to read my book by Melody Beattie, “Fifty-Two Weeks of Conscious Contact” every day. Maybe that’s all I need for now.
Once that becomes a habit, I can add on new changes incrementally. Make it part of the routine. As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous: “Easy Does It.”
Much Love, and Happy New Year!