To get to Terrapin.“Terrapin Station” – Hunter/Garcia, Grateful Dead
Almost there now. It took awhile, but I have nearly reached the end of The Fool’s Journey. Things have changed in my life quite dramatically once again. I’m no longer at the law firm. In a few weeks, I’ll be moving to a new house, a new town, a new county, and a new life all around. Somehow, the World has fallen into my lap.
It came about at first as an act of desperation, my quitting the job at the firm. Not knowing how I would continue to pay my bills, feed my kid, and worst of all, afford $5.00 per gallon gasoline, I began to panic. The choice to leave was not really a choice, but rather an effort to preserve my sanity. When I left, I told them if I continued to work there, I would end up in the psych ward caused by extreme stress. They still asked me to come back, even though I took all my stuff and walked out on Earth Day. I chose to save myself instead of the job.
In the Tarot, The World card is the end of one cycle, with all things coming together in a cohesive fashion. It means completion; you have everything you need. As you may know, usually, when one thing begins something else must end. It would seem antithetical that I’d write about this card when my introduction leads you to believe that perhaps I don’t have it altogether.
But that is kind of the point: I had to let the end of my path here in Westland finish, so I could start a new journey. I found the end of the road here and now it’s time for a new start. I’ve emerged to become the Fool, once again – well, almost. Once the relocation is done, that’s when that clock will start. For now, I am in The World territory.
How It Started
I began writing this blog in February 2020, about five days before I found that school history book I wrote about in my last post – the one I delivered to Mr. Schmelz in March. I tried for a year to get the writing part of my blog going, but somehow, I couldn’t make it work. The writing began to take off about 9 months later, but I still wasn’t doing the things to make my Tarot reading business work. I love Tarot, but I don’t love being a marketing person.
The Art Show
Fast forward to April 2021: I did one of my first shows in Detroit, as an artist/Tarot reader. It was held inside an abandoned old warehouse in midtown. I made just a little over a hundred dollars that day – hardly worth sitting in a freezing, dark building all by myself all day long. Yet, there was one guy there who came and saw me. He wanted me to give him a reading. I’d already spoken to him, but he didn’t seem like the type who would want one.
His question was, “Will I go to Heaven?” I didn’t forget him after the show because that question was so different than most. We exchanged numbers, but he lived far away and I was dating someone at the time. It seemed like one of those exchanges that would amount to little, but how wrong I was.
I had no idea that meeting this man would change the trajectory of my existence.
The “Random” Meeting
When I went to see Mr. Schmelz on St. Patty’s Day, I decided I needed someone there with me to make the delivery of the book. Not because I feared the man I was meeting, but the energy of the place of where I was meeting him. There was a cemetery there, and I felt it trying to call me. Yet, it didn’t seem like a peaceful thing – more like a spirit energy was wanting my attention, and not necessarily a benevolent one. I decided to ask Bruce, the man from the art show a year earlier, to meet us there, as what I referred to as my “wingman.” I told him I needed him to help me as an emotional support.
After the book was delivered, he and I went out for pizza and a root beer that night to celebrate seeing each other again. Our first date was innocent and unassuming, which is why we got along so well. It was based on friendship more than anything – we didn’t know what the universe had in store for us.
Six of Swords Vibes
Over the weeks, we became closer and he began calling me his girlfriend. Yet, he still lived an hour away and it was not easy to see each other. My van had broken down recently; I had no money for traversing out to Jackson County. It was getting to the point where I considered moving back in with my parents so I could take my load down a few notches. I knew that if I did that, we would have to break up. Once again, money had to take precedent over my feelings.
When I walked out of the law firm on Earth Day, I went home and fell asleep for several hours. The phone rang around 4pm and my daughter answered – it was the landlord, wanting to discuss renewing my lease in Westland. Oof, I was not ready for that decision that day; I asked her if I could call her on Monday to confirm if I wanted to renew. I had to act fast.
Bruce and I discussed the situation a bit over the weekend. Then on Sunday night, April 24th, he told me he “knew a landlord with extra space that wouldn’t mind giving us a place to stay.” He was, of course, referring to himself. I didn’t think he was serious, really. That was a big step for us to go from being friends just two months earlier, to moving in together as a couple.
Yet, here we are. My official move to Brooklyn, MI will be at the end of this month. I’ve already moved most of my belongings, with a few pieces of furniture in the old rental just so we’re not sleeping and eating on the floor. I have already taken a new position in the area; it is only 7 minutes’ drive from our new house, at a nudist resort that Bruce didn’t even know existed.
One Path Ends, Another Begins
It’s funny how life has come full circle, but it all began with letting go – first of the book, then the desire to work in a law firm, then the need to be completely independent. Once I set it all free, new things fell into place and it came together to give me what I really want and need in life: A stable home, a loving man, and a job I can actually do without having a mental breakdown.
My World, in this moment, is fulfilled.
I’m not sure if this will be my last post, or if I will continue to work on this blog once I move. Part of me feels that the blog has also reached its natural conclusion – I may begin to write about something new. Tarot will always be a part of my life. I guess we’ll see what the cards have to say.
Wish me luck.